Keeping the Kikay

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Last Mother's Day, hubby gave me moolah as a gift to treat myself to a mini-splurge on whatever I wanted. Naturally, I was more than willing & pleased to take advantage of the opportunity to indulge in some guilt-free shopping. I had done a pseudo-spring cleaning on my makeup stash a couple of weeks before - throwing away stuff I didn't notice were already expired & just virtually useless - so this was all too perfect timing to replenish my vanity. Mind you, I haven't been a big makeup fan since I got pregnant, and up until recently I felt that any form of prettyfying seemed just too darn tedious (picture a kid crawling around or wailing his lungs out while I so much as attempt to start on putting even just powder). But some introspection triggered bells & gongs in my head & made me think: uh-oh, have I begun to let myself go?

That had been one major promise I made to myself when I got married. I would never (at least as much as I could help it) let myself go. I won't ever allow myself to justify looking drab just because I'm a stay-at-home mom. I admit, at one point it felt like the most logical frame if mind for me. "Why would I need put effort in dressing up or getting made up?" "I'm a mom now. Who else would I need to look nice for? My husband's seen me at my worst possible look anyway." "There's no point in being kikay, that's all for teens & single women in their early 20s.". W-R-O-N-G. 

Kikay is a Filipino slang that generally refers to one being sassy, hip, girly or flirty. And I do believe that moms, no matter what age, can still be all these even with their ranging priorities. Being married or a mom isn't an excuse to fall off the wagon. Remember when you were just dating? Remember how much effort you put into looking nice, presentable and appealing? Well that's part of why your husband fell in love with you. I'm sure you bagged the man for more than just your physical attributes, but it played a part in it, too. So giving partial importance to your appearance is not shallow at all, it's only one way you take care of yourself. Several relationship therapists have said that when you care about yourself enough this way, it consequentially makes your partners feel that you care about them as well - enough to make the effort to look good for them. Besides, from your end, I'm sure you'd still want them to put on proper clothes or shave or at least shower daily even if you've seen him in their greasiest state.

kikay mom right there!
I'm far from being an expert in marriages, but it sure sounds logical to me. There's no need to go on an all-out wardrobe haul, or to go salon-crazy every week, or to wear makeup while doing the laundry and reorganize your budget to let cosmetics take over the grocery list. Simple gestures, such as wearing something decent other than the same clothes you use to clean the house, or making sure you don't let your armpit hair grow out, would be a great start. As for me, I'm getting back to my pre-married enjoyment of makeup, reviving the kikay in me...in moderation *wink*.

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