Why I Choose To Be (Temporarily) Helpless

Monday, April 22, 2013

Lucky are those with good house help these days. They are a dime a dozen, and if you are one of those fortunate enough to find yourself a keeper, I say treasure them. Personally, I've decided to go without hiring help simply because I've had nothing but bad experiences when it comes to nannies and household helpers during my younger years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not generalizing at all -- like I said, there are definite keepers --
but at this point I have yet to learn how to trust someone else to take care of my baby well.

While I've never been assigned a yaya for myself, my younger sibs had their own in the past and they were all a nightmare. We've all heard horror stories, and the ones we've had pretty much covered 'em all - they stole, left in the middle of the night, behaved stubbornly insisting they knew better because they were older, spent so much time just lounging around instead of doing chores, went on day-offs and returned days later without the courtesy of letting us know beforehand, and so on and so forth. I know there are worse ones out there, but I feel that the lot I've had experience with should be enough to last me a lifetime. It doesn't help either that I watch endless news reports on kidnapping, or nannies caught on CCTVs hurting kids when the parents are away -- they have all sadly fed my paranoia.

There are upsides to being help-less in the meantime, and I'd like to think these reasons justify my present decision:

1) Things are done exactly the way I want it in terms of caring for my baby and attending to some house chores (my hubby shares with the other housework, too, so that's a major plus :) ).

2) I either sustain or enhance my bond with Joaquin by spending this much time with him. I've heard complaints from some moms I know that their kids respond better to their nannies compared to them, and one kid even looks for his yaya first as soon as he wakes, even if his momma's with him. This hurt the mom, obviously.

3) I don't have to worry much about our privacy or security. There is some comfort in knowing that I don't have any reason to be cautious inside the confines of my home, whether it's about our belongings, words, or actions.

While I'd like to believe I can handle things at home on my own in the future while taking care of Joaquin & any upcoming kids, I know I will need help at some point. I don't know if I just need to be sure first how I want things to be run exactly, since I'm still finding an effective system for me in some areas, or if I just really need to get past my paranoia and trust issues, but for now I will just have to wing it and wait 'till Joaquin is a little bit older.

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