Good Reads

Child Sense - Seeing Your Kids in a New Light

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Have you ever found yourself exhausted out of your wits trying to get your baby to stop crying after you've tried every single, supposedly tried & tested, method of calming infants down? Have you found your patience waning on your toddler who seems to play deaf on your careful explanations on why he/she can't play rough and throw his/her toys all over the place? Have you ever felt so confused on why other kids seem to have an easy time socializing while your pre-schooler still won't play with other children when you're nowhere in sight?

Being a new mom, I've had moments when I've doubted if I'm really up for the job since things I've learned from friends & family -- like how to "properly" put a baby to sleep & how to wait for him to cry it out so he doesn't get used to being picked up on his cue -- don't seem to work on Joaquin. So now I'm quite thankful for coming across a very interesting book, which I definitely think may help parents out there understand children's behavior & allow them to better teach, interact & communicate better.

Child Sense was recommended by my former boss who is now one of my good friends. I didn't find it to be your typical boring parenting book, usually filled with scientific concepts explained through psychological jargon that leave you feeling all the more confused; probably because the author is just another mom who serendipitously stumbled upon babies' secret language & ended up establishing a renowned research center 11 years after. Priscilla Dunstan was a musician with keen sense of hearing & in the midst of her frustration with her newborn baby, she discovered a pattern of cries associated with the different needs of babies - food, sleep, calming from agitation & soothing from pain or discomfort.

In this book, she talks about how kids discover, learn, and understand you & the world around them depending on which of the four senses are dominant in them: vision, touch, hearing, & taste/smell. For instance, you can't explain to a visual toddler how to fix his toys but showing him would do the job better, in the same way that you cannot just sing to a tactile baby & expect him to be comforted when he needs to touch & feel you to be soothed. It talks about how parents often have difficulty communicating with their young ones because their own dominant sense mismatches that of their kids', & how this disparity can be addressed for a more harmonious relationship.

Since reading this I've felt less frustrated about how Joaquin always needs to have me or his daddy near enough for him to touch so he won't be fidgety, and understand that he doesn't necessarily need to be carried all the time but rather just held close because he's a tactile baby. So I'm less stressed, less tired, and a more confident & happier momma. It also gave me a sneak preview of how he might behave well into the toddler years & set expectations so I'll know how he'd want to touch & learn about his surroundings by using his body. Rowdy-howdy tumble-stumble, here we come!

You can purchase a copy of the book from National Bookstore for only P379.00.

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